


Dancing with the Damned

by J3ns3nJ4r3d



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bi Dean Winchester, Castiel's vessel is 30, Dean is 27, Demon Summoning, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Gay Sam Winchester, Gay Sex, Heartbreak, Hurt Dean Winchester, Incest, Logan is 22, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rejection, Sam is 23, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:46:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21617725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J3ns3nJ4r3d/pseuds/J3ns3nJ4r3d
Summary: Summary: A man wakes up in hospital after dying in a car crash. But this isn't the first time he's woken up like this. This time is different. Two nurses stand over him and inform him of his temporary death. This isn't the first time he's been told this. It's his deepest secret - no one can know. But people are looking into him and the reason for his resurrection. Will his secret stay a secret? Or will an unexpected connection lead to it being brought to the light?Note: The OC is a male character called Logan. He’s 22, 6’2, blonde hair green eyes, and quite toned. He also possesses limited psychic powers. More on those in the story.Note the second: this fanfic will include a large amount of gay sex. Don’t like don’t read. You have been warned!!!!!!Note the third: This will be predominantly written in Logan’s POV however there will be moments where it is in that of a different character - most likely Sam, Dean and CastielNote the fourth: There are also going to be elements of non-con/ dub-con so if you don’t like reading that sort of stuff then I will let you know - although all bits of non-con/ dub-con will be essential to the story, it won’t just be porn-without-plot.
Relationships: Castiel/Logan(OC), Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Lucifer/Logan(OC), Past Castiel/Sam Winchester (mentioned), past Dean Winchester/John Winchester
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Logan’s POV

Topeka, Kansas

I woke up in a white room: White walls, white doors and white window frames. It was morning. I didn’t remember falling asleep. I didn’t even remember how I got here. Then I remembered (temporary memory loss was always a side-effect): The car, the darkness. And Him. His blonde hair, the shadowy dusting of stubble ghosting his face. I continued to let my mind cast itself back on what had left me in this situation. His mouth on mine, his stubble grazing my face as our tongues fought in a battle for dominance. The passion in his eyes as he undid my belt and let my cock roam free. My dick being engulfed in the warm, wet abyss of his lips.

(Flashback)

“You like that don’t you?” I asked. “My cock in your mouth.”  
He moaned a yes around my dick, sending shivers up and down my throbbing member  
“Keep this up and you’ll make me cum”  
“Yes! Cum in my mouth please” he said, almost begging  
“Show me how much you want it.”  
He instantly took my cock all the way down his throat, gagging slightly, his nose buried in my pubes. I took his head and held it there for a few seconds, letting him choke on my length. After a few seconds, I let him up and started fucking his face. He looked up at me and held eye contact whilst my balls were slapping his chin.  
“I’m gonna cum!” I yelled  
A split second later I was releasing load after load down his throat screaming in euphoria at the force of my orgasm. He gazed into my eyes and swallowed, making it clear to me that he had taken down every drop.  
“I must say I’m surprised” I stated. “Who would have thought the king of hell, Lucifer himself, was such a cock whore.

(Current day)

Suddenly, I felt a hand touch my arm, bringing me back to reality. Two males stood above me, both tall (taller than me). One of them must have been about 6’4 (he reminded me of a moose). The other was slightly shorter. They were both outfitted in a set of light blue scrubs, singling themselves out as nurses.

“He’s awake,” the first one said  
“I told you he would.” Replied the other one. “I told you there was something special about him”  
I looked up and stared at them, a look of confusion written across my face. Thankfully they didn’t notice. Instead, they sat down in the chairs that were either side of me and started to explain what had happened.

“You were seriously injured in a car accident,” the taller one said. “When the ambulance finally brought you in you had been dead for five minutes. They kept trying to revive you for another half hour but there was no output. They called it. You were legally dead.”  
I nodded slowly, processing what the taller one had said. The shorter one then took over.  
“Anyway, you were taken down to the morgue where 30 minutes later you were banging on the door yelling to be let out. That’s when you were taken here and assigned to us. All the other doctors were busy so we took over your case.”  
I absorbed their information, memories coming back about the events leading up to my current situation  
“What happened to the other people in the accident?” I asked. I already had a pretty good idea, I just wanted to hear from them.  
“They...didn’t make it. They stayed dead.” The tall one responded this time  
“I thought that was the case, but knowing for certain it’s just… it’s too much” I heaved out a sob. I hated having this, being a murderer - I blame Lucifer. I sobbed like that for about 30 seconds, before silence fell over the room.

In the silence, I tried to work out who these men were. There was a falseness about them. They weren’t demons that was for sure. I’d spent too much time with Lucifer to recognise what a demon’s presence felt like, or even the presence of a demon-possessed individual. But something was bugging me about these men: they seemed false. They were definitely human, that was certain, but nevertheless something was wrong with them.

“ What did you say your names were again?” I asked them.

“Oh we didn’t, our mistake.” replied the shorter one. “I am Dr. Damien Van Halen and this is my colleague Dr. James Hendrix. And you are Logan Fitzgerald?”  
“Call me Logan,” I responded  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nurse Hendrix scoff slightly. The lesser minded person might have been convinced, but I was no fool. Lucifer had told me about a pair of people, brothers, that hunted things like him. They faked IDs, hustled pool and committed credit card fraud to get around. Sam and Dean Winchester I think he said. I had no idea who was whom though, however the one calling himself Van Halen must be an avid rock fan.  
I decided to let them think they had me fooled for just a bit longer. The more they thought their covers were safe the more information I could get from them.  
“So, Dr Halen,” I started. “How long until I can get checked out?”  
“Give it a couple of weeks for your injuries to heal and you’ll have girls flocking all over you. Or guys. If that’s what you’re into. Not judging if you are. Cool if you are.”  
I gave a slight chuckle at that. Not just the joke he made, but his sheer awkwardness after the punchline. Maybe if things didn’t work out with Lucifer I could see if he’d be up for giving something a go.  
“Sorry, I meant how long until I can get checked out of this hospital?”  
“Just need to fill out these forms and you can go in a couple of hours”  
“Is there anyone we can call for you?” The one called Hendrix interjected  
I shook my head sullenly, one of the downsides of my ‘gift’: I was practically immortal. Any family I had had all disappeared years ago. But I guess there were worse fates than fucking the devil for eternity.  
“I have no one.”  
“What about a car? Do you need someone to drop you home?”  
Again I shook my head.  
“There wouldn’t be much point.” I articulated “There was a fire a few weeks ago in my neighbourhood. My house didn’t make it (what I neglected to mention was that I burnt alive in that fire to have a rendezvous with Lucifer). I’m currently just hopping between motel rooms until something vaguely permanent pops up for me to snatch up.”  
The two ‘nurses’ gave each other a look as if they were somehow communicating telepathically. Given what I knew about Sam’s powers from Lucifer this wasn’t totally out of the realms of impossibility. Thanks to my sessions with Lucifer I’d developed some very mild form of telepathy. I tried to focus in on their thoughts on the off chance they were having a conversation in their minds. Luckily it paid off.  
“Dean? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”  
“Sam. No. I can’t believe you’ve even considered this.”  
“Dean you aren’t even thinking about it!”  
“I don’t have to Sam. it’s a bad idea”  
I chuckled silently. Who’d have thought that thoughts could raise their voices? I quickly got that out of my head and focused once more on the conversation.  
“What? A worse idea than naming ourselves after rockstars, hmm? That’s probably blown our cover anyway.”  
“C’mon Sammy it was genius.”  
“Keep telling yourself that dude.”  
“Hey!”  
“Whatever Dean, I’m doing it.”  
“Fine.”  
So the tall one is Sam. That means the other one must be Dean.  
“Hey dude,”  
Sam’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.  
“Which motel are you staying at?”  
“The Traveller’s Inn”  
“We finish shift in a couple of hours, you should be checked out by then, fancy a lift?”  
“Sure. It’s not like there’s a bus or anything nearby. And my car’s totalled so it’s not like I can drive myself”

*3 hours later*

The two “doctors” dropped me at the motel in their black Chevrolet 67’ Impala. Wasn’t a terrible trip, although the only music they had was Metallica or Nirvana on VHS. As I got out of the car I thanked them, and then waved them off as they went their own way.  
“That’s the last of them,” I thought  
But little did I know that that was not the case. As I entered the motel and started towards my room, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something...or someone...was watching me from the shadows - almost as if it were an angel…

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's suspicions arise as he recalls a vision he had weeks before meeting Logan  
> Meanwhile, Dean is hiding a secret...

Sam’s POV (set 2 weeks after chapter 1)

Ever since we met Logan at the hospital I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something going on that I didn’t understand yet. It seemed too idealistic: the dead don’t come back to life unless there’s some other force at work. Not to mention that my dreams had predicted something like this about a month before we met him. I lay in my bed (it was 10pm) and I let my mind flit back to the first time I dreamt about him; a bid to try to work out what had brought Logan back to life…

(Flashback)

6 weeks ago…  
I lay in my bed, tossing and turning in my sleep. My mind was like a movie theatre, showing me constant strips of a future reality. As I dreamt I saw a man, young: 21-22 years old, blonde hair, green eyes. As the dream progressed I saw this man drive off in a red ‘93 ford mustang (a car that even Dean would be envious about). Suddenly I was in the passenger's seat next to him, my eyes transfixed by the ever-increasing speedometer, finally peaking at 200 km/h. I looked at him in shock - why would he go this fast on purpose? He took a sharp left-hand turn and ended up on the main road. Even at this speed, I was able to catch a glimpse of the street name: SW 6th Street.

After a while I heard the sound of vibrating. Looking around I saw his phone next to him, a text alert lighting up the screen. He reached down, unlocked his phone (5824337) and opened the message. I leant over his shoulder and looked at the message with him. It was only a very short message, but the message was clear. It read “Logan, it’s time. L Xx”. After reading the message he put his phone in his front left trouser pocket, undid his seatbelt and then swerved onto the opposite side of the road, still at 200 km/h, into the Capitol Federal Natatorium. It was then I woke up.

As soon as I’d woken up, I had gone straight to Dean’s room to tell him. Forgetting to knock I burst into his room only to see Dean, naked, balls deep in some chick he had been chatting up a couple of hours before. I stood there in horror, paralyzed by the sight of Dean fucking some random. I was like that for a few seconds until I saw his muscular ass tense and heard him yell “Shit I’m cumming!” As soon as I heard that I dashed out of his room - but I was not fast enough to get away before I heard Dean moan a name as he climaxed. Sam.

(Back to reality)

That was enough remembering for me. Cum was all over my stomach.  
“Son of a bitch!” I yelled  
I got out of bed and started unbuttoning my shirt, letting a cascade of red flannel fall to the floor. As I looked down and started removing my jeans, I stared at my traitorous dick before wiping it clean with my discarded shirt. That too was dropped to the floor as my door was flung open and Dean walked in.  
“Sammy..” he began before trailing off when my fully naked body greeted him.  
I saw him look down and notice the piles of clothes on the floor, and my now flaccid, but slowly hardening dick hanging freely in front of him.  
“Something got you a little excited there buddy?” He asked,  
“No, I was just thinking,” I replied, willing my cheeks to return to their usual coloured self.  
“Yeah, you were” he responded, both mocking and amusement mixed into his tone.  
For some reason that turned me on, and I felt my dick grow even bigger. Dean noticed.  
“Sammy… do I turn you on?”  
“What?” I said, shocked. “No, course not Dean.”  
“Hey, Sammy, it’s okay.”  
He stepped forwards, eventually closing the gap between us.  
“You turn me on too. See?”  
I looked down and saw a rather large bulge forming in Dean’s jeans. His hand reached out and grabbed my dick, jerking it slowly until it grew back to its full length.  
“Damn Sammy! How big is that thing?”  
“It’s Sam” I hissed. “And ten inches”  
“Fuck, that’s big. Bigger than me little bro”  
As he said this he started stripping off his shirt, revealing his intoxicating set of abs. I gasped in wonder at the sight, eliciting a smirk from Dean.  
“Damn Sammy, you really want me that much?”  
“Just shut up and kiss me jerk”  
“Bitch”  
With that, he pressed his lips against mine. They were rough, and they tasted like apple pie. I felt his tongue swipe across my lips, begging me for entrance, which I willingly granted. He slipped his tongue inside my mouth and we engaged in an all-out war for dominance. We fought like that for a few minutes before Dean withdrew his lips from mine, and knelt down in front of me. He looked up at me and gazed into my eyes, before slipping my cock into his mouth - never once breaking eye contact. On his first intake, he managed over half of my dick before gagging.  
“It’s okay Dean,” I consoled. “You don’t have to take it all”  
He nodded slowly. There was a sadness in his eyes that I couldn’t quite explain.  
“Just go slow, yeah Deano?” I said. “We don’t have to go all the way if you aren’t ready”  
Dean took his mouth off and stood up, gazing right into my eyes.  
“Sammy it’s not that, it’s just...” he trailed off and gulped, hesitant to say whatever was on his mind, almost as if he were full of fear.   
“Dean, what’s wrong? It’s okay, you can trust me.”  
Dean just shook his head.  
“Sam, I..I can’t. If I do you’ll never look at me the same way again. You’ll hate me. You’ll never want to touch me again,” He burst into tears and right then I felt this overwhelming need to protect him like he had protected me all these years. I did the first thing that came to my mind and embraced him. I wrapped my arms around him and just comforted him.  
“Dean, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anything now or ever. It’s okay, I understand.”  
“How can you understand?? This is killing me to be like this but I can’t tell…”  
“I understand because I love you, okay? I love you so much more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. Screw the fact we’re brothers! I love you so much more than I should. Okay? So please don’t say that I’m going to hate you because nothing could be further from the truth.”  
He continued sobbing but it was softer now, not as harsh as before. We just stood there, arms wrapped around each other, in near-complete silence, Dean’s broken form held carefully in my arms.  
“I’m just gonna put some clothes on, then do you want to go for steak?”  
Dean chuckled, finally. It was good to see him smile, his dimples enhancing the already perfect picture.  
“Yeah Sammy, let’s get some steak.”  
“It’s Sam, Dean,” I corrected  
“Shut up bitch, I’m allowed to, I’m upset.”  
“Jerk.”  
Dean laughed again.  
“Now get out so I can put some clothes on”  
Dean sat down on the bed.  
“But your back is di-vine,” he drawled  
“Fine, you can watch me get dressed. Perv”  
A few moments later I was dressed in black skinny jeans and yet another red flannel-shirt. As we walked out the front door I put my arm around Dean and just pulled him into my side - he fit perfectly.

***


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected event shakes Logan to his core
> 
> *Spoiler: This chapter contains rape/non-con so if this is a trigger I apologise*

Logan’s POV (Happening at the same time as chapter 2)

I looked at my phone. 6:05pm. Still kinda early. I sat at my desk, laptop in front of me, mind blank - always helpful. The laptop was taunting me, calling me to continue writing but I could not. My mind was blank. All that had been written was the essay title: “The Nuances of Demon Possession and Banishment” I lay back in my chair and sighed heavily, frustration evidenced by the sound.  
“Well that’s an interesting topic you got there,” a voice behind me stated.  
Almost instinctively I stood up, pushed my chair out of the way, and let fly a roundhouse kick behind me, aiming in the direction the voice came from. My kick was met by an arm in a rising block.  
“Why so hostile babes?”  
I recognised the voice.  
“Lucifer!” I exclaimed. My voice then turned to anger  
“What the hell are you doing here?”  
“Can’t a man come and visit his lover every once in a while?”  
“In all our years of fucking, name one other time you have ever come to see me?”  
“Touché”  
“Touché? Touché?? In all our years of fucking, it has always been me dying in order to see you, in order to be close to you. And I don’t mean that in a sappy way, I literally have to die!”  
“And that’s why I’m here honey-bunches. You don’t have to die no more if you don’t want.”  
“What do you mean?”  
He passed me a bit of paper.  
“Just consider using this yeah? It will bring me right to you whenever you want. You are the only person I’ve given this to, but...I love you. I want you to have a normal life, even if that means putting myself at risk from being summoned by someone else, I trust you...I love you.”  
“I love you too, Luce”  
I took the piece of paper from him  
“Anyway, gotta go,” he said  
He turned around and started to head towards the door.  
“Wait,” I called. “Stay a bit longer?”  
He turned around and smiled.  
“I was hoping you’d say that”  
I sauntered over to him and proceeded to drag him over onto the bed. He resisted however.  
“Luce, what’s wrong?” I asked  
“I want to show you some things - things that will make you virtually unique, practically untouchable.”  
I raised my eyebrow at this, my interest piqued.  
“Do you trust me?” He asked me, the look in his eyes almost daring me to say no: But I couldn’t. For some reason or another, I trusted him. For some reason, I had fallen hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him.  
“Yes,” I responded. “I do”  
He nodded slowly, almost trying to process my answer. He walked out of the bedroom and returned a few moments later with a glistening knife.  
“Are you sure you trust me?” He asked again  
“Yes,”  
With that, he took the knife and placed the blade against his wrist. With one swift movement, he dragged the blade across it and let a stream of blood run down his arm.  
“Drink it,” he said  
I stood mouth agape, confused at what he had just requested of me.  
“Come again?” I asked. I just wanted to be sure I hadn’t misheard. Even if I hadn’t I would do it. I loved him and I knew he would never hurt me.  
“Drink.” he reiterated  
I stepped closer to him and took his bleeding arm in my hand. Slowly I lifted it up to my mouth and started to drink from the wound. After a few moments of suckling at the open flesh, I withdrew my mouth from his skin and wiped the last few remnants of his crimson life force from my lips.  
“So...what now?” I asked  
Lucifer grinned and flicked his wrist. At once another man appeared. An older man, late forties to early fifties, but with eyes as black as midnight.  
“Who’s this?” I asked  
“He’s not important, he won’t be around for long enough. Focus on him for a second.”  
I did that, I turned my eyes to him, and concentrated. After a while, he coughed, and a billow of blake smoke started to ascend from his mouth. After a while he collapsed, dead.  
“That was a demon,” Lucifer started. “Whilst sex with me gives you some benefits, not only will my blood enable you to banish demons, but it will also enhance your telepathy even more.  
“Why would you give me this power?” I asked  
“Because I felt like it,” he laughed slightly, taking hold of my collar and pulling me towards the bed - a continuation of what I’d tried to start earlier.  
I let him lead me, pecking his lips every so often until his legs hit the side. He falls backwards and pulls me with him before changing our position and pinning me down assaulting my lips with his before ripping my shirt off and continuing down my body, leaving marks as he went. He paused, taking a moment to take his own clothes off (minus his boxers); I followed suit with my own clothes. He took my member in his mouth, practically inhaling the shaft down his throat. I moaned in pleasure, but it was cut short by a strange sensation in my buttocks, and the hiss of pain that followed. I sat up slightly and saw Lucifer, still sucking my dick, but he had two fingers embedded in my asshole.  
“Luce...what are you doing?”  
“Relax, okay?” he replied, adding another finger as he said so.  
I hissed in pain, before rolling my eyes back and moaning in pleasure: he’d found my sweet spot. As nice as it felt, we’d never got to this point. I wasn’t sure what was happening. When Lucifer and I had started this arrangement - it was so long ago I can’t recall exactly when - I was on the top. I was never on the bottom. And he seemed happy with that. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed having my cock in his mouth before I fucked him. But it was this moment I had to make a choice. Was I willing to give myself over to the Devil? Was I willing to let someone take that part of me; enter a place that had never been entered by anyone, not even myself?  
“Luce…” I started, “Stop”  
“You don’t mean that,” he responded “just relax it’ll feel good I promise”  
I tried to move, tried to turn and push himself off of me but it felt like he was suddenly possessed - impossible for the devil but that’s what it felt like - by an impossible strength holding me down. It was like that for a few minutes, his fingers seesawing in and out of me, a mixture of pain and pleasure. Eventually, the fingers left, and I heard the sound of boxers being lowered. I took this opportunity to try to escape, but I felt a hand grab my ankle as I tried to leave the bed, making me trip and fall to the floor. I felt a weight on top of me and then a hand flying across my face.  
“Don’t even try it” he hissed.  
I was scared. He had never hurt me or done anything without my consent before. I was terrified of this new side of him.  
He lined himself up with my taint and forced himself in. I cried out in pain. He felt a lot bigger than when I’d had him in my mouth. He continued his assault, wrapping his hand around my mouth to silence my protests. Unable to speak, I silently prayed to whatever deity I could for help. At that moment a notification announced itself from my laptop, ignored by Lucifer as he continued his violent raid on what little remained of my innocence. I looked up from the floor as much as I could and my eyes were drawn to the screen. Open was my essay, no sign of the notification. But below a bunch of words was a sigil I recognised as a banishing symbol for angels. A lightbulb went off in my mind. Although fallen, Lucifer was still an angel With one hand still covering my mouth, his other hand dragged its fingernails across my chest, drawing blood. As lucifer continued, oblivious to anything other than his euphoria at this moment, I took my hand and touched the wound on my chest, letting the blood gather on my fingers. I heard Lucifer’s breath get quicker; he was close. I had to be quick. With as much subtlety I could muster, I haphazardly copied the sigil onto the floor, dipping my digits at rapid intervals into my chest to resupply the crimson paint. Without warning I felt warmth gush up into me, he’d cum - yet still, he continued his assault. I couldn’t wait anymore  
With a last push of effort, I coated my entire hand in the blood now dripping steadily from my upper torso and hit the sigil - praying it would work. As soon as I touched the symbol, the foreign body inside me disappeared and I was alone. Naked. Bleeding. Bruised. But most importantly ashamed. I peeled myself off the floor and cleaned up the blood as best I could (including the sigil) before sinking myself into the comfort of my bed, overwhelmed with emotion at the fact I’d let myself get into this situation. I drifted off into a broken slumber, not noticing that whilst I slept a figure appeared in my room and sat down in the chair, emanating grace, watching me. Almost as if they were trying to protect me from further harm...

***


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan tries to cope with the fallout of the weeks previous events...

A week had passed since the incident. I hadn’t left the motel room since - paranoid about seeing him. So much so that the room was covered in angel banishing sigils and wards. I had rarely left the bed. My only contact with the outside world to date had been with the pizza man, the evidence scattered about the room. Lucifer has tried to visit a few times however I turned him away - which he seemed to respect. I was unable to face the reality of what had happened. My chest hadn’t been healing. In fact, it had gotten worse, slowly turning infected. But I couldn’t seek help; not without admitting to someone that I’d been assaulted by my boyfriend. I struggled to admit it to myself even. I mean, he loved me, and I’d followed him to the bed before we ended up on the floor. I know I said no, but maybe it was all mixed up in my head. Maybe I would close my eyes and realise it was all some horrible nightmare and things could go back to how they were - I’d be back where I belonged, before I even met Lucifer. But I knew that would be too good to be true. Life didn’t work that way.

I curled up in the bed, a comforting familiarity from the chaos in my mind. I could feel my chest throbbing but I ignored it. I had to. But ignoring the pain led to other issues. I didn’t know what withdrawal was like, but I seemed to be suffering from a lack of Lucifer. Not even Lucifer himself, but his essence. The past few days I had been sweating heavily, restless, my telepathy had vastly dwindled, and I had become violent - the holes in the wall confirmed that. I needed Lucifer. I hated him and I needed him all at the same time. I slowly removed myself from the bed and moved to a pair of jeans that had been discarded on the floor days earlier. I crouched and fumbled throughout the pockets until I pulled out the scrap of paper that Lucifer had given me before the incident. I smoothed it out in my hands and looked at the sigil, contemplating using it, before turning it over in my hands absentmindedly. That was strange. On the back was another sigil, one I didn’t recognise. It was confusing, but not confusing enough to mess with it. I may not know much about the supernatural but even I knew not to mess with unknown symbols.

I turned the paper back over to the sigil Lucifer had said would summon him, tracing the lines with my finger as I continued to consider summoning my… I didn’t even know what to refer to him as. I mean, I hadn’t told him it was over after what happened; did part of me still want to be with him? To forgive him? To love him despite everything? I didn’t get to finish the thought...the pain in my chest flared up to an unignorable level. I felt my vision blurring as I collapsed to the floor in agony. I tried to pull myself back up, only succeeding in knocking my laptop to the floor. As I slipped into unconsciousness I saw the door to my motel room open and three figures bursting into the room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's such a short chapter but it was needed. Sorry it's taken so long to update as well - had lots of coursework. Next chapter when I have time to write it (although it's already started so probably within a week)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean contemplates his future with Sam before a lead from an old friend leads the brothers back to Logan
> 
> This chapter contains underage sex/non-con (content warning)

Dean’s POV (Set an hour before chapter 4)

It had been three weeks since Sam and I had hooked up - if you could call breaking down mid-blowjob hooking up. He hadn’t asked about what caused it yet, and for that I was thankful because I couldn’t bear Sam looking at me differently if he found out why. We hadn’t tried to have sex since that day either. He said he was happy to go at my own pace - another small mercy - it meant I could delay having the two inevitable conversations indefinitely. The first being what had happened, and the second being what we were. For now I was content curled up in bed with him, my head on his shoulder, thinking about what my views on the situation was as I had done for three weeks. Sam told me he loved me every day, as he had done for the first time three weeks ago. I knew he meant more than as brothers. He loved me as one loves a girl. As I love a girl. Did I enjoy what had happened? To some degree. Did I love Sam? Yes. Did I love Sam as he loves me? I don’t know. I wasn’t gay - that much was certain. I mean, I’d fantasized about Sam before, and I’d made the first move back then. He was attractive, you’d have to be blind to think otherwise. But that didn’t mean I was gay. And I’d had sex with a guy before - not by choice but it happened - but that didn’t make me gay because I didn’t want it, no matter what my body was saying back then, right?

As I was thinking I felt Sam’s body move under my head making it slip off his chest and onto the mattress. Sam’s body was on its side facing me, eyes closed. I could feel his dick hardening against my leg as he slept - even in boxers, it felt massive to me. There was a part of me that considered taking it in my hand - waking Sam up with a handjob - but I decided against it. What if Sam wanted more? I couldn’t give him more. Not after what had happened. I started to feel my mind spiralling, memories of the event hitting me like a ton of bricks.

(Flashback)

21 years ago…

It had been a particularly tough day. Sammy was fine, he was too young for training. But me? I was up at dawn and training till dusk. Guns, Knives, hand to hand, if you named it I was probably learning it. Dad had yelled at me because of this one kick. I hadn’t landed it first try, and when I did land it, it wasn’t strong enough. He’d made me go out back and keep practising the kick against a tree until dusk - which had now been for three hours. When dusk hit I went inside and up the stairs to ask Dad what he wanted for dinner - I was in charge of cooking. When I got close to his room I heard grunts and moans. Thinking he was in danger I burst in ready to help but what I saw was definitely not danger. Dad was lying on his bed naked, one hand around his penis, moving it up and down, and the other was fondling his balls. He looked at me and I turned a deep shade of crimson.  
“I..I’m sorry Dad, I thought you were in trouble,” I stuttered out, turning around to leave  
“Dean...wait,” Dad said “Come here”  
Nervous, I went over to the bed, unsure about what he wanted  
“Lie down next to me”  
I climbed onto the bed and did as he asked, scared to disobey. He got angry when I disobeyed.  
“Touch it Dean,”  
“Dad?” I was confused. I thought I’d misheard  
He raised his voice slightly  
“I said touch it Dean”  
I reached out and wrapped my hand around his shaft, it was big. Much bigger than my six-year-old one.  
“Move your hand Dean, it’s okay” He consoled. He could see the nervousness on my face.  
I started to move my hand. Every so often Dad would let out a moan of pleasure. We continued like that for five minutes, all the while I was wanting to pull away - my loyalty and my fear keeping me in place.  
“Dean, use your mouth”  
“Dad?”  
“I said use your mouth Dean”  
“Dad..please… I don’t want to”  
That sent him over the edge. I felt a hand smack itself across my face.  
“Do as you’re told Dean!” He almost shouted.  
He grabbed my head and moved it towards his penis, forcing it into my mouth. I was crying as this happened, every ounce of me wanted to pull away but he was much stronger than me. I let the tears roll down my face as he continued to force my head down, occasionally bucking his hips up into my mouth making me choke. As he did this I felt his other hand start to unzip my trousers and slip its way into my pants, caressing my ass. A few minutes later his breathing got faster and he started forcing his dick further into my mouth. He let out a deep, guttural moan and I felt liquid rushing down my throat. His hand was firmly keeping my head in place - I had no choice but to swallow it all down. It tasted disgusting and bitter. He removed his hand from my head and let me up.  
“Good boy Dean,” he said. “You did so well,”  
I felt dirty and ashamed. I still wasn’t sure what had happened but I knew that it was wrong regardless.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow for training. You’ll be coming to my room after that.”  
I felt physically sick. This was going to happen again. And there was no one I could turn to for help. I started to get off the bed and walk towards the door before I remembered why I’d gone to his room in the first place  
“What do you want for dinner?”  
“Surprise me,” he responded. “And Dean?”  
I nodded.  
“Call me Sir from now on, okay?”  
“Yes, Da...I mean, Sir”  
“Good boy”  
I turned and walked out, tears streaming down my face as I headed to the kitchen

(Back to reality)  
I was brought back to reality by the sound of Sam waking up. He sat up in bed and looked at me.  
“Dean, have you...have you been crying?” he asked, concerned  
I quickly wiped my eyes, catching the tears I hadn’t noticed had formed.  
“No, I’m fine. Just allergies. You sleep okay?”  
“Better than you by the looks of things...anyway Dean, I had a thought”  
“What Sam?”  
“We came here because of Logan, right? Because he suddenly came back to life?”  
“Yeah, and?”  
“Well this is our first case involving a resurrection, so surely we need to talk to someone with experience of resurrection, right?”  
“Sam...you realise that no one alive has the first clue about resurrection right? And those who do are probably lying.”  
“Dean, I mean someone like an angel, like Cas?”  
“I dunno Sam, I mean, Cas and I haven’t spoken in over a year you know that - you caused that”  
“We both said we were sorry Dean, and if you can forgive me for sleeping with him you should be able to forgive Cas, I mean he was your best friend.”  
“I just need a bit more time, okay?”  
“I’m sorry Dean but we need him a lot more than you need space. It’s been a year Dean, it’s time.”  
“Ugh, fine. Just don’t expect me to be friendly.”  
I rolled out of the bed and started to pull some clothes on, Sam was doing the same. When I was fully clothed I walked into the living room and sat down in a chair, bracing myself for the arrival of Castiel. Shortly after Sam walked out and sat in a chair opposite.

Sam started to speak. “Cas said he’s gonna be here shor...”  
“I’m here,” said a familiar voice.  
Standing in the middle of the room was Castiel. The room was silent for a few moments  
“Dean, it’s good to see you. You look well,” Cas said, trying to ease the tension between us. I nodded in response, not willing to respond out of spite and resentment. A few more awkward moments of silence passed before I decided to speak up.  
“Look, just say what you know, okay Feathers?”  
Castiel sighed, clearly seeing that I wasn’t willing to try and sort things out yet.  
“I don’t know much. Before this, the last case of resurrection was a man named Eutychus back in early AD. However, in 1720 there was a missing person’s case: A man named Elias Goldsmith suddenly vanished, with no evidence pointing towards abduction, murder, or anything. After a few years, people just assumed he was dead, but then in 1851 a man named Silas Silverstone suddenly surfaced that bore almost the exact same appearance as Elias. This man ended up killing himself a year later, but then another man called Darius Brimstone popped up a few years later bearing a similar likeness again. We lost track of this new man around 1885 after he burned to death in a fire. There’s been no reported sighting of a man similar to this person since then so it’s unlikely it’s something like this happening but you’re the experts.”  
“So what you’re saying…” Dean started - clearly annoyed “...is that what you ‘know’ probably isn’t even linked to this case?”  
“Dean…calm down,” Sam said, a slight glare in his eyes. “It’s a lead, even if it turns out to be a dead-end it’s something.”  
I sighed and took a deep breath.  
“I guess we should talk to this Logan fella properly then, find out if he knows anything. Do we know if he’s still at that motel?”  
“It can’t hurt to check,” Sam replied, looking slightly relieved things hadn’t kicked off more between Cas and I. “Even if he isn’t, there may be a chance the manager knows where he went.”  
I stood up and started towards the door.  
“Let’s go then,” I said, moving towards the door. Sam stood and joined me by the door, whilst Cas just stood in the middle of the room. I sighed.  
“Cas...you coming with?”  
Cas faced me and nodded, smiling before joining us at the door.

Together we walked down to the Impala and drove to the motel we had dropped Logan off at 3 weeks earlier. After parking, we went to the front desk and rang the bell. Shortly after, a short, balding, middle-aged man appeared.  
“Welcome to The Traveller’s Inn, how can I assist y’all?” he grunted out.  
Sam took the lead,  
“Hi there, um... So we heard our friend was staying here and just wanted to drop in on him, a surprise sort of thing. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other so thought it would be nice. Is he in?”  
“Name?” the man replied  
“Logan...Logan Fitzgerald,” Sam responded. I was impressed he could remember the name from the hospital papers.  
The man nodded and looked through his booking list.”Room 102. He’ll be happy to see you. Between you and me there’s been nothing but pizza men entering and leaving the room for the last week. He’s not made a sound. I think he’s been lonely.”  
“Thanks,” Sam replied before we started to walk off.  
“Although…”The man continued, causing us to simultaneously turn around “There was a blonde guy try visit him earlier this week with a big bunch of flowers but was sent packing. I don’t know if it was a boyfriend or summat like that but the boy was given the boot.”  
“Thanks for the heads up,” Sam replied again before we all turned around and headed to the motel room Logan was in.  
“So…”I started, “Who’s gonna knock?”

I didn’t have time to get a response before we heard a crash in the room. Instinctively I kicked the door and was faced with Logan on the floor, desperately trying to gasp for air and find a hand-hold before his eyes closed and he slumped back to the ground. At once everyone tried to run into the room, only Sam and myself succeeding. Cas was thrown back as soon as he tried to enter.  
“There are wards up Dean!” he exclaimed. “I can’t get through.”  
As Sam ran over to Logan, I looked around at the room trying to find the wards. As I searched there were a few things that stood out to me. One: the holes in the wall. Whatever had happened here the room had suffered. Two: Logan wasn’t wearing a shirt, and there was a nasty gash on his chest. That was probably what made him collapse. And 3: on the screen of the laptop, there was an anti-possession symbol, much like Sam and I had tattooed on our chests. All the signs pointed to a demon attack. I finally found one of the wards and broke it, going around the room as fast as I could until each one was interrupted. Cas came in shortly after and knelt down by Logan - a look in his eyes. I couldn’t tell if it was concern or something else written across his face.  
“We need to get him to a hospital,” Cas said, clearly worried “And pay the manager for the damage I suppose?”  
Sam nodded before standing up and heading back to reception, pulling his wallet out as he went  
“I’ll meet you by the car,” he said before exiting, leaving Cas and I alone with an unconscious Logan.  
“Cas...you okay?” I asked, concerned about the fact Cas was looking concerned.  
“Yeah Dean, I’m fine. I just didn’t miss this part of the job, having someone’s life in your hands - you know?”  
“You sure it’s just that?”  
Cas shook his head.  
“You know I’m sorry, don’t you Dean?”  
I nodded.  
“Yeah...I know. I’m sorry I didn’t react in the best way.”  
“I don’t blame you for that. I mean, had I walked in on you and one of my siblings going at it I’d have been mad too. It didn’t mean anything you know? You know as well as anyone that the hunting life gets lonely. It was just a form of relief, nothing more. But I am sorry Dean. I hate that it's come between us for so long.”  
“I’m sorry too Cas,” I said  
Sam came back into the room.  
“The manager’s been paid. We need to get Logan to the hospital now,”  
“Wait...Sam,” I said  
“Yeah Dean?”  
“The hospital might not be the best place. Look around,” I gestured to the room before continuing, “All the signs point to an attack from a demon...or an angel. Our best bet is to treat him away from here back at the lodge.”  
“Are you sure about this Dean?”  
I nodded.  
“Yeah, let’s get back to the hotel. We’re more equipped to deal with demon stuff than a hospital.”  
With that, Sam picked Logan up off the floor and we all headed back to the Impala, driving off to the hotel.  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to update, I've been very busy with mock exams and coursework. So here's an extra-long chapter to make up for it :) any feedback appreciated. I'm trying to keep it accurate to past chapters but it's getting hard as the chapters get more. Please let me know of any inaccuracies


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